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All reviews - Movies (44) - TV Shows (21) - DVDs (1) - Books (6) - Music (16) - Games (15)

A violation of human rights laws.

Posted : 12 years, 9 months ago on 5 March 2008 12:52 (A review of My Hero)

In June 2000, 58 illegal immigrants were suffocated in a Dutch goods truck. In June, 2000 I watched 'Mr Hero' for the first time. I'm still not sure who suffered more.

The storylines were paper thin and although it reeled off a thousand jokes a second, I failed to laugh at one.

This can't get any worse, I thought.....I was wrong. Next they introduced a wise cracking baby. A crude talking mouth was superimposed onto a baby, but that wasn’t the end….it got worse still. They got rid of the only one who could act (Ardel O'Hanlon) and replaced him with the effeminate James Dreyfus, who couldn’t play a heterosexual, married man more than the elephant man could play Cary Grant.

'My Hero' isn't even funny on a sarcastic/ironic level. Its so excruciatingly bad, they're using it as a torture in the next Saw film. I believe he has to chew his own arm off to get to the remote.

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The perfect film for a girls night in.

Posted : 12 years, 9 months ago on 4 March 2008 02:02 (A review of Sleepless in Seattle)

You know what?! In the past, whenever I recalled 'Sleepless in Seattle' I said it was bad. However, whenever I watch it, I think it's beautiful, it makes me cry, I want to curl up with a duvet and a mug of tea.

I'm inclined to believe that this is all about pretentiousness. Nice films like this often miss out on critical acclaim, because critics, like myself...don't want to and are ashamed to like it.

It's a lovely story, incredibly romantic...and no less than the father of the modern rom-com. Tom Hanks gives an amazing performance (as he always does), even Meg Ryan out does herself.

The last moments meeting on the top of the Empire State Building, has to be one of cinemas most memorable moments.

Sleepless IS a chick flick, but I implore you not to be ashamed of liking it...I'm coming out now as a fan of this film, it brings out every ounce of ridiculous, emotional, silly girliness in me; and now and then that's what every girl needs.

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Full of tracks that everyone should own.

Posted : 12 years, 9 months ago on 3 March 2008 05:40 (A review of Number Ones)

I personally think that this is the best, best of album of ol' Jacko's. No matter how you feel about his face or his personal life....he makes a damn good song.

If you only want to dip into the most well known MJ songs, from his prime; this album is perfect.

Beat it, Thriller, Man in the Mirror....all of the best songs from one of histories greatest performers.

This is a timeless album that will appeal to all ages and all music lovers. We may go our own ways into various genres, but there is no doubt in my mind that Michael Jackson has to be one of the most universally appreciated music artists.

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High culture for the masses.

Posted : 12 years, 9 months ago on 3 March 2008 01:03 (A review of The Phantom of the Opera)

I'm all up for making theatre more accessable to the masses. I fell in love with the story of the Phantom, when I went to see it in London for my 16th birthday, in a seat with the Gods.

I love this story, I adore the score and obviously couldn't afford to go to the theatre every time I wanted to see it. This film was a God send, excellently done and sung just as well as the original cast, Mini Driver is astounding.

A story of a deformed outcast, hidden from the world in the bowls of a theatre, his musical genius and obsessional, unrequited love with a chorus girl. Such a passionate and moving yarn you won't find anywhere else.

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Football Manager '08: Review

Posted : 12 years, 9 months ago on 3 March 2008 12:48 (A review of Football Manager 2008)

Don't, as I did, begin this game when you have something important to do..I had exams on the way but could not escape from the games' grasp. It is utterly addictive and can make 7 hours seem like 7 minutes.

There is no fast, first person action, no explosions.. in fact, the game sits there, as patient as a stone, leaving you to intermitently go get a coffee, try and remember how your legs work or force yourself to do some real work. You can even listen to music or watch a film at the same time.

Much like, 2007, the game uses an immense data base of players and statistics to allow you to build and manage your own football team.

Budgets, players and player statistics are unique to each team, as are the fan and board expectations. The sheer immensity of the data base alone is worth owning for any football fan.

I'm not particularly a football fan, but like any hot blooded human I adore the sense of competition and pride this game delivers (that is if you do well).

Please note however, for those who require constant movement and development in a game, this isnt for you. It's slow paced and is most certainly a marathon, not a sprint.

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Music & Lyrics Review

Posted : 12 years, 9 months ago on 3 March 2008 12:28 (A review of Music and Lyrics)

This is your basic rom-com, made from your basic rom-com blue prints. It is, like most of its genre, a nice watch. Easy to follow, warm and fuzzy, inevitably forgettable.

The only thing that makes 'Music & Lyrics' worth my recommendation is the tongue-in-cheek way it was made. It doesn't expect to be taken seriously, it doesnt pretend to deal with any real issues. A further plus is the wonderful 80's song, sung by Alex Fletcher's (Hugh Grant) has been band 'Pop'...it is a hilarious and entirely accurate parody of the 80's pop song and video, which I could no stop singing for days.

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A duck/rat hybrid.

Posted : 12 years, 9 months ago on 1 March 2008 05:39 (A review of Next)

This film wasn’t that bad...I wanted to hate it..but I couldn’t hate it entirely. I like the idea of seeing slightly into the future, the protagonist constantly assessing and reassessing their next move.

The blurb for the DVD used the words 'terrorists', 'Vegas Magician', 'nuclear bomb', 'against the clock'. Which made me immediately buy it for my mum, a notorious lover of crap action films.

It was however, better than I thought it would be. On many an occasion I was genuinely impressed at the storyline and concept. But I cannot stress how much better it would have been, had they not cast Nic Cage.

Does Cage meet any of the criteria needed in an action hero?

Body built for vest wearing: No
Roguishness: No
Buzz cut: No
All American: No
Low, gravelly or alluring voice: No
Good looking: No

In short, Cage is not an action hero. On more than one occasion I physically laughed at him running away from explosions and an avalanche of cars; like an injured Daddy Long Legs. I laughed even harder at the 'romantic' schpeel he was given to utter, as his physical self obviously wasn't a believable attraction to Jessica Biel.

Cris Johnson: "There's an Italian painter, named Carlotti, and he uh, ahem, defined beauty. He said it was the summation of the parts working together in such a way that nothing needed to be added, taken away or altered, and that's you. You're beautiful."

If a man said that to me...well he better not look like Nic Cage at the same time..let’s say that. It reminded me of a friend of mine who everyone says is like a duck/rat hybrid.

Despite it all, I’d say ‘Next’ is worth the watch. It will give you a good laugh in places and will keep you mildly entertained for a small time.

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Oliver!, cures what ails ya.

Posted : 12 years, 9 months ago on 27 February 2008 09:10 (A review of Oliver!)

Anyone with a heart in them cannot help being lifted by this musical. I'm yet to meet anyone who doesn’t know at least one song...'Oliver!' is a British Institution.

Every single song makes you want to join in and stirs an unexplainable pride in the heart of any Londoner. Every single adaptation of Dicken's Oliver after this has yet to hold a candle. Nobody has played a better Dodger than Jack Wild, no Sykes is as good as Oliver Reed's and that’s not to mention Mr Bumble, Nancy and of course Fagin.

Funnily enough this production has become so popular that the storyline has replaced Dickens' original in the minds of most. Very few realise how much this movie deviates from the original plot of Dickens', 'Oliver Twist'. I won't spoil it for you..but the movie is barely like the book at all.

It's nothing like the book but still, I don’t care. 'Oliver!' is like the drunken uncle at a family party. His drunkenness is not normal, and maybe a tad worrying... but who cares, he has a cone on his head and is a good laugh.

Next time you're living in pestilence and poverty; driven to prostitution and crime in the dark and unforgiving streets of London...grab a gin and 'ave a good old Cockney Knees-up!

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Bleak House Review

Posted : 12 years, 9 months ago on 27 February 2008 08:51 (A review of Bleak House)

This mini-series has the twin advantages of being one of Dickens’s best novels and being an extremely well made piece of drama. As proof of this it won 5 BAFTAs and received a further 7 nominations.

Anyone who likes a good period drama should watch this; similarly anyone who likes Dickens can't afford not to see it. The storyline follows the corruption of all those fighting to prove their right to the massive inheritance of deceased gentleman Mr Jarndyce.

I have seen my fair share of Dickens adaptations and this is definately one of, if not the best...and very close to the actual story as well.

Very few people will argue with the fact that Charles Dicken's is one of the greatest writers of all time, this adaptation of 'Bleak House' will give people the opportunity to experience the legendary yarn, even if they cannot be bothered to read the book.

Keep an eye out for a particularly good performance of Mrs Dedlock by Gillian Anderson.

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A bad review of Pirates!?!

Posted : 12 years, 9 months ago on 26 February 2008 11:29 (A review of Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End)

The storyline of this film feels like butter spread to thin. There wasn't enough storyline or original writing to maintain the premise...how shall we fill the glaring gaps? With loads of special effects, and sweeping scenes showing off the make-up artistry.

Obviously Johnny Depp was great and the pirate thing is a riot, but both of these can be seen in the first film. Kiera Knightly took centre stage in this film..*SIGH*...utterly unconvincing as a Pirate Queen. Knightly was out acted even by the planks of wood lining 'The Pearl'.

I won't be popular with this opinion...but someone's got to play Devil's Advocate.

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