Reviews by GemLil

Art Attack! When kids were kids and an egg box...blew your mind.

Neil Buchanan wasn't effeminate, he didnt mince...you had the feeling that he came back from work at the steel foundry one day and said in his heavy Liverpudlian accent;

'Luv, I'm going down ta London ta inspire a generation with a love of...craft'

I always looked forward to Art Attack, especially the part in each episode where he'd make a big art work on a school field! Not just that though, if he made a footballer, he'd use football equipment..it always had a theme....although it was almost always footballers.

Buchanan's footballer fetishes aside; the show always got me creating and crafting. I made a monster faced bin, some policemen shaped room guards, a planet and a crocodile. Although once I'd made them, I never knew what to do with them.

What I made however, never looked anything like Neil's. What he should have said was, you'll need;

* an egg box
* some newspaper
* some PVA glue
* and a degree in fine art and design.

I love reading what other people think of my country, especially when they're good thoughts.

Bryson's comment on a visit to the UK is funny and reassuring. He is a self confessed anglophile and it really makes you realise that our little Island isn't all bad.

This books is full of funny anecdotes that sum up the British sensibility, one particular character who he terms 'Mrs Smegma'; a stuffy old B&B owner is particularly hilarious.

While it is a travel book in essentials, I recommend this book to any Brit who's confidence in the Isles is waning. It'll give you a temporary boost.

Vicar of Dibley is a very standard sit-com. It's sometimes funny but mostly it's not..mostly it just uses silly catchphrases and the same repetitive jokes from the same 'wackey' characters. Alice will say something dumb, Jim will say 'no no no' for half an hour....once you've seen one episode, you've seen them all.

This show deserves a 5/10 because it is exactly in the middle, it's not bad enough to avoid, but not good enough to like.

If you've got half an hour spare, spend it watching Father Ted, Catholics are much funnier than C of E.

All my father seems to watch is Cops and its British equivalents 'Police, Camera, Action', 'Street Crime UK' and 'Booze Britain'. Why? Because he has the IQ of a battery hen.

I hate them all vehemently. Cops (the American one) makes me feel so sorry for the Yanks..how people that stupid can be made policemen is beyond me. And as history has taught us, stupidity and guns don't mix. Cops follows some trigger happy, hick police pulling out their guns for even the most minor of infractions. Bound and gagged on the floor, the suspects are still 'resisting arrest' and justifying a beating. Now and then though you'll see something exciting like a death or an intelligent cop.

The UK versions however are on the other side of the awful spectrum. Every episode follows our society's drink problem. Bouncing from Birmingham to Manchester to Basildon, rounding up paralytic halfwits, fighting in the streets because 'he looked at my bird'...while peroxide blondes pull up their knickers and stumble around clucking, in a mini-skirt and boob-tube at 4 degrees C. Every scene ends in the same drone 'The suspects were given a warning and later release without charge'. And I guarantee you will hear the phrase 'WOT? I AINT DONE NUFFIN! FACK OFF YOU PIG! I AINT DONE FACKIN NUFFIN'

I don’t want to see this on TV, I can step into my local town and see this whenever I want! Stop making television about the benign everyday happenings of society...my kitchen cupboards need replacing, why don’t we make a documentary about that?

NB: My kitchen cupboards were given a verbal warning and later released without charge.

Tony Curtis and Cary Grant go together like pie and mash (or something more American....a burger and fries?).

Anyway, it’s not often that I would recommend a film due to performances alone...this does have a light hearted and funny plot, but that pales in comparison to Grant and Curtis' performances.

As usual Tony Curtis plays his ladies man role, while Grant delivers line after line with a hysterical dryness that impressed me time and time again. They both play naval officers, commanding a submarine inhabited by a co-ed crew...with sexy results. Curtis and Grant are a great double act, fun loving, cheekiness vs astute dryness..they contrast and bounce off of each other perfectly.

Petticoat was made in 1959 and you can definitely feel the 60s right around the corner...sex was about to be invented and everyone was gearing up for it with sly winks and cheeky gestures.

This game is the sequel to 'Glory of the Roman Empire'...it is a stratgey game which requires you to build and maintain a effeciently running Roman settlement.

You must build an upgrade farms and houses, as well as butchers, temples and scores of other items. I however feel that it is not as good as its predecessor. Imperium Romanun seems even slower paced than its prequel and nothing notable has been added to the game.

The scenarios are tedious and time consuming, there is no storyline and the game does not provide you with any incentives to make you want to complete it. I'd put this game on the same fun level as a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle of a car park...it retails at around £25-29...you can get a puzzle that size for around £5...you make the choice.

Peter Cook and Dudley Moore were the ultimate comedy double act. I only recently discovered this fact and feel like I've been cheated by not knowing earlier.

This DVD includes all the best of Pete and Dud from their various shows including 'Not only but Also' (1965) and 'Beyond the Fringe' (1964). You may think that it's so old it's outdated...well you're wrong..Pete and Dud's sketches are more relevant now than ever, in the 60's they were so far before their time...now they've just about caught up.

I feel like I'm betraying my roots here, but I think that this material is even funnier than a good deal of Python sketches. Check out some of their sketches on Peter Cook's Listal profile, you'll get a taster of this DVD.

I especially recommended this for anyone who likes Monty Python.

A bunch of lads are driven to seek work in Dusselfdorf, Germany; due to mass unemploment in the UK. Auf Wiedersehen Pet is grimey and social realist in places; it has a strong left political message...but dont think it's serious.

The majority of the series, following the group of misfit brickies and carpenters from Germany to Spain and eventually Cuba, has a lads day out/ brits on holiday feel.

The poverty and depravation in which they are forced to live gives the group a brotherly feel, in it together; one for all and all for one. However most of what they earn ends up spent in pubs and on laddish conquests. The constant conflict with the Germans makes for many a hilarious moment.

I can't really explain why, but the geordie, Manc and Birmingham accents throughout make the whole thing that much more enjoyable...I could listen to Jimmy Nail read the phone book.

Its a fantastic series as a whole..but season one was the best of them all. Just watch one episode and I guarentee you'll be hooked.

I got very excited by the fact that this album only had 2 tracks. I like nothing more than an album, in which all tracks run together smoothly and complement each other perfectly. What can do that more than a two track album..(except maybe a one track album?!).

I had reason to be excited and wasn't dissapointed at all. It is nothing less than a masterpiece..orhestral and ambient but never boring, you will get lost in this album. In fact, its so good I make a point of not listening to it too often; I want it to always be a pleasure to listen to. There are two kinds of good music, the type that makes you want to sing along, and the (albeit rarer)type that stuns you into silence...this is the latter.

This reminds me of a time before my life was blighted by the unrelenting ravages of the modern world. It is so peaceful and serene in parts, you entirely forget all your worries.

It's so delightfully English; I think the word it quintessential. Badger is the ultimate sullen good guy, while the Weasels are old school East-end villains. The animation is so unique, I have never seen anything like elsewhere. Dolls house miniatures are used for picnic baskets, tables, cups and even the toast. The whole think reeks of a bygone age and an innocence that won't be found again (and probably didn't actually exist).

If you watched this as a child, you'll like it even more now...if you, like me have a soft side for nostalgia, you'll love it. However, more than anything it's quaint, and if you don’t like quaint, you wont like Wind in the Willows.